i do not know why you hate me so much.i think i have to admit that im trying to be myself so much,
which cause the feeling of me neglecting you.
i have been so defensive secretly in my heart for not letting anyone to hurt me,
which cause the selfishness you see in me.
i thought i do not have to do anything to make you stay,
i was wrong.
you show me how hurtful can i be
you show me how nasty can i be
cause i trusted you too much.
why.
i thought you are the closest person to me
so i can do anything i want, even my darkest side
but i guess i was wrong.
i have not stabilized down since the day im with you
my secret.
there are still questions in my head all the time
and even now.
so now im the most imperfect guy
which i appears to be the most perfect one.
everything was just appearance..
i do not know where's my true character,
who trust me?
if i dont rely on you that you will trust me, who else?
im just too wrong to be myself in front of you.
which which which i dont even even know how should i be, how should i react.
so i was like, anyhow.. and anything..
too neglectful..
im too neglectful..
i shouldnt have hold back such person.
but i do not believe in finding the right person.
it is in my hands to control my world, right?
why am i feeling that im not in the fucking wrong, fault?
because im not the way as you see, you saw, you feel, you felt.
again, who trust me?
if i had a chance i wouldnt step into relationship at all..
so whats the point of turning back now? no right.
we should be continue our journey by overcoming obstacles right?
mistakes are not just done once, twice.
forgiveness are not just twice.. forth too.
are we allowed to request for forgiveness when we have the will to change?
everytime?
maybe is up to individual.
i need support too, i need motivations.
from you. especially you.
do i have to say so much?
i said before i was in this relationship,
i hate girls.
but i never turns back, in anything
that i do.
all above are nothing,
when you dont care.
